So just tonight I went back to check and see how my little munchkins were a-doing. I was floored when I saw that Mark had 75 messages in his inbox. And I haven’t even logged on in a while! Even more shocking (bazam!) Jessica had 93, hawt damn! Clearly the Walkers are getting more play than the Scopatz.
Here are some of the creepy messages I got. Enjoy the voyeurism while it lasts!
#1 to Jessica––—
Hi, im 28 in the USAF and happily married to the woman i love and would never think to leave. But lately ive wanted to experiment more sexually and she’s not into that. I just dont want to get to the end of my life and still have regrets you know what i mean? I havnt been with anyone else except my wife for the last 3 years, and have been tested for STD’s within the last 6 months. Check out my profile for more about me. So if your at all interested in no strings attached casual sex, give me a call on my cell. 402 ### #### [from San Antonio, but Columbus, OH area code]
#2 to Mark––—
so what’s up with you? do u want to have alittle fun… yeah, i know my profile says straight but i still like to have fun with guys… i just keep it low key! :P
#3 to Mark––—
you are my new leo crush and i am deeply and powerfully in love with you over the internet. YES. i am smoking hot, a good dancer, very attracted to you, and furthermore i’m from nashville tennessee so we can have a country-off. or should i say… a cuntry-off? i have magical soothsaying abilities, and my inner eye says that i would probably vacillate between loving and hating you, and i cannot promise that you would not ever be injured by a bottle of wild turkey to the head. such is life. my AIM screenname is ~blanked~ - feel free to talk to me over the internet, because that’s probably the closest you’ll ever get; i sure as hell won’t drive 500 miles to see anybody i met on the internet, not even if he had a 10-inch dick and a testicle condition that required he empty his balls every half hour or die horribly.
#4 to Mark––—
your profile is so much better than mine holy crap you have matching pictures!
And it is totally fake! Anyways, let me know which is your favorite. I think I am going to have to go with either #2 the classic closet case in one-line and, #3 the 10” penis plus testicle issue. Wellp gotta go ^_~.