Anthony Scopatz

I think, therefore I amino acid.

Take Me AWAY!

My belated Mother’s day present, delivered at the Bar Mitzvah:

In India a Swami called Mommy
Looked down from her mountain on me.
––”I am a great Guru,
––And I recognize you!
You are Anthony, not Julian, Shane, or Seany.”
Her eyes did not lie
So I responded with a sigh,
––”Yes, I come from a land called Idaho
––Where the wind is the least of things that blow
And to return I’d rather die.”
“Be consoled now my son,
Of your death we’ll have none.
––For as soon comes the Fall,
––It’s to Texas with Ya’ll
But while you’re here we will have a ton of fun in the sun and I’ll shun every pun till your done when I’ll buy a gun at which point you’d better start to run.

So my trip was fantastic, mostly. Basically sans everything that was travel related and I rocked it. There is so much to tell I will therefore save some for later. I’ll start with some observations about Idaho.

1) I was waiting at a gas station to catch the shuttle bus from Idaho Falls to Salt Lake City so I could take a plane out of this land. I had gotten thee about an hour early to be on the safe side (I actually didn’t know how long it was going to take to walk there and I was overcompensating for my small penis). I was sitting on the ground outside reading “Pride and Prejudice.” I was on the side of the building that was opposite the sun. A couple of 60-something men wearing baseball caps and suspenders come round the corner a little after half past and say “Getting some shade, eh?” I reply “Certainly.” They light up. A couple minutes later the say, “Hey young fella, do you have the time?” I stand up and tell them the time and they tell me they were just wondering what time zone they were in. This piqued my curiosity so I asked them where they were headed and they told me California. Further inquiry revealed that they were visiting a bother in Montana and were on their way home to Chico. They told me n amusing story about how just before they left some of the college students piled Six (6) couches together in the middle of the street and burned them in celebration at the end of the school year. This brought back found memories of Isla Vista. All in all this was the most pleasant conversation with a stranger I have had here. It just goes to show that the nicest people in Idaho are actually from California.

2) More Graffiti Phun: On the road between Idaho Falls and SLC there is an entire three story abandoned building that has every square in covered with graffiti. The subject matter of all of this is simply homecoming messages to those returning missionaries. For example “Welcome Elder So-and-So” is all over this derelict. Those goddamn mormon punks…think they can just go about like they do…

3) People here call Idaho Falls “IF”. This really confuses me because I can’t understand why anyone would ever want a port here.


I bought a car! I drove it out here!

You can look at it here:

I bought this totally impractical toy for about $3k under the blue book price. I am way pleased. It has a couple of odd issues like the gear for the convertible top is stripped so you have to open it manually, but I think I can live.

The reason I got this baby so cheap was because the owner was moving back to France in 10 days.

Also my financial aid came through so I will no longer be under the threat of starvation!

I think that is enough for now.

I want to be like Pardot Kynes. Is this such a crime? I am already focused on high level system studies. Is planetology so far removed? (Watch me answer my own rhetorical question) No.