Coming to visit the Valley is always so informative.
I have long known that my social engineering (SE) skills were honed and sharpened here. However, it may turn out that this is precisely the place where I attended “ninja training camp”, as it were.
What I noticed this trip is that nigh on everyone in this friend group engages in it, and they more or less acknowledge it. Furthermore, they all approach it with the mindset (that I do, that I likely learned from them) that it is not interpersonal manipulation, but rather a survival mechanism. This is simply how the “game” is played, so one may as well play it. It is how these people communicate with each other.
Ok wonderful. There is this subculture that is stable and functions in this way with most of its members. Yet there seem to be a couple of salient features that I just noticed that should be discussed.
1) When you remove people who think and act like this from this subculture and put them in a group of people that doesn’t communicate like this, then fun times happen. First off, the social engineer doesn’t change what their actions. However, they do feel compelled to not be so explicit in what is going on in their brain, since the new group of people is likely predisposed against this.
However, this doesn’t stop the SE from behaving as such. Thus our hero will more or less be able to construct the social situations they desire, because no one is expecting them to do so. Of course there will be one or two people in the new group who think along the same lines, but they likely haven’t had the practice honing their skill since they weren’t living in a pure SE environment.
2) Secondly, when living in a pure SE environment everyone develops not only the external communication and information gathering tools, but also a deep set of inner personal skills. This is to say that even though they can mine the minds of others with some competence, they also by necessity develop a hardy bulwark of defenses. These evasive maneuvers themselves may become a separate skill set that can be perfected.
Hence, when someone has a better defensive block to you than you have data mining abilities on them, they effectively become an enigma to you. Their emotional state is hard to read. Predictions about what they will do in a given situation all come out a wash.
From personal experience, I have found that just because you have information does not mean you can perform any positive acts with it. I am sure that it is partially because of this that I feel that the Enigma people from above are super hawt.
Not only do they have the “tough nut to crack” thing going, but that lack of information might be occasionally beneficial. Moreover, it is not that there is no communication occurring, as with most dysfunctional relationships with a lack of info situation. Both the Enigma and me keep mining each other. It is simply that discovery of true feelings can be stalled during those notoriously bad wishy-washy moments.
So aside from other things physical and mental, girls who are Enigmas definitely get super-marks in my book. Love ya all.