I have always been a proponent of not wasting time on dating people you know you are not interested in. That being said, what one wants and what one thinks one wants are typically quite disparate when one starts dating. So like many things in my life I have followed a classic iteration, hopefully converging on that one person who is so molto bene that you don’t risk giving them up.
The point whole point is that date dissimilar people who gradually get closer and closer to one another and you learn more and more what works for you and what doesn’t.
Example: Say you start off with the girl down the street. You should then probably move to the one from the wrong side of the tracks. The difference here is large because you don’t have any sense of who you are. Then try to find someone who is a more middling version. Someone who roughly combines the positive traits from each. Maybe you decide that you liked the girl down the street a bit more so you find someone that more closely resembles them. However, this fails and you suspect you need a real man, more like Duncan Idaho and less like Lady Jessica. Look we are getting closer; they are both strong character from Dune! While trying to decide if Elvis is alive or not you think that someone more enigmatic would be better to project your feelings on. Then you wonder if mythical beasts in a far way land are enigmatic enough for you?
And maybe all of these characterizations are grossly unfair (half of them don’t exist), but the method is sound. From each encounter you learn, and get closer and closer to that mythical one (or several, as the case may be).
So why is did this come up? Well, blame Kerry Prime. She pointed out how she is holding out hope that I might someday bring home a nice, only slightly unusual, girl. Sean, for one, has for years claimed that I will marry a nice Jewish girl (uuugh, curse my bones he does).
Being single for some time, I dated around to humor the “open up your options, put yourself out there, don’t limit yourself” crowd. But, it failed (in a non-self-fulfilling way). I know more or less what I want. I have converged to within acceptable tolerances, yet, of course, I can always go further.
So while I am intrigued by the possibility of someone that my friends and family think is a good fit but is outside of *my* norm, I sincerely doubt it will happen. It defeats the purpose of doing the iteration to break out of the loop now!
Naturally, I take a similar model for other aspects of my life. Check it.