So I went to see Covenant tonight. I know what you are going to say so I’ll start off with “It was THAT bad.” Alright we are now all on the same page. However, there were some positive aspects which I’ll get to later. To start off with I picked a realitively inocuous seat in the middle. Three spaces from anyone to the right and pleanty of room on the left. But No. Three teenie boppers rolled up and sat right in those three. Keep in mind that there was pleanty of other room in the thearter. The one girl to my left asked durring previews for ME to kick the seat of the chair in front of me where a 20ish couple was making out. I naturally refused and then they said loudly “There will be NO making out durring the film”. Which clearly embarssed this young couple. They then proceeded to talk the whole movie about how hot each guy was. What the Hell!
So if you know nothing about the film know that it was produced by the same people who did “Underworld” but instead of vampires/werewolves, there was a group of four psions who had basicly sworn off their powers. But no there is a secert fifth psion who comes and obviously wants to kill the main (read most powerful) character. The last half of the film is those two going Kameha-Meha back and forth. I expected it to be better than Underworld because frankly Underworld was THAT bad++. But no. I was wrong.
However, my good friends Myers and Briggs pulled through once again. To my pleasant suprise out of the four heros, each one displayed obvious characteristics of one of the four temperments, NT/NF/SJ/SP. The main character, while still kind of a douche was clearly the ‘thinker’ of the group and gets NT status easily. The best friend of the MC was the more emotional one and was identifiably an NF. The one who got his rocks off annoying the main character showed a naturaly tendancy towards ideals matching him as an SP. Now the last one, the SJ, we didn’t see much of. But this may be the most important aspect of SJness. They realy don’t make good subjects of stories (unless you are Hemingway (which would have made this movie genius!)). He basicly hung around with the SP and did what the smarter/more charismatic characters told him to do. At the start of the movie I was hoping that they would do the whole four horsemen of the apocolypse thing…but having identifiable temperment was pretty good too. In some sense, this even makes CHC movies easier to predict, because you can not only indetify major plot and story elements way before they happen but you can also from scene to scene predict what characters will say to each other. And since you already know waht scenes there will be…..
There was one line which really took the cake. A doctor, a medical doctor, you know the kind that know about life forms and all, said this “It is as if she was bitten by hundreds of insects, like spiders.” Now the man on the street might not find much wrong with this peice of dialouge. But we are discerning here, no? Spiders are not insects. At least it was worth a laugh. There was other stuff wrong with the film…but that took the proverbial cake.