I think my body is depressed, if not my mind.
My only evidence to this end is that my body doesn’t want to wake up (which only happens when I am sad) and I am playing video games again (which I use as escapism). And that there is nothing that I have control over that I have any damn right to be sad over.
For example, after I failed my quals the first time out I spent way too much time on Disgaea, and then a shamefully long amount of time of Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion after that. Not that I am anywhere near that commitment on Civilization Revolutions yet, but stirll.
I don’t want to work; I basically wanna get on a plane and fly away. And sleep. Man I need to kick this. I have a ton of stuff to do. Luckily my debugging went well today because 5 months ago I had the good sense to write readable code. Unlike 9 months ago.
But that is that. Probably part of it is this conversation Shawn and I had about girls last night. He has a more scattershotgun approach than I do. Thus his advice sort of runs counter to the conventional wisdom that Kerry Prime gives me (and others). In fact their seem to be two camps:
- The peeps who have known me since high school (with whom I tend to agree)
- And the folks who I have met afterwards, who generally encourage a broader choice range
I don’t know. I am sick of thinking about this. And I am tired. And all I wanna do is play Civ and sleep and get my PhD. And GO ON VACATION.
At least I am having fun ranting on otherblog!