So to all you Ryans out there in the world, Damn You!
I love you guys so much, but there is just no way I will ever be as funny as you. You are the people that I feel so much less funny around because you are just that hilarious. All I can do is set up jokes for you. I am glad to do this because you keep me in stitches the WHOLE time I am around you. It is such a wonderful feeling to be in the everlasting presence of your one-liners. I understand that it is half about timing and half what you actually say, but that kind of comedic talent is not present in all of us. For what it is worth, I would sleep with you for your puns.
And if you haven’t realized it by now Ryan, you don’t need to be named Ryan. You *could* be called Malcolm X, or Jessica Simpson.