Ahhh la Taz! Why do you taunt me so?
Why do you torment me with your “Look-but-don’t-Touch” policy?
What have I done to send me to this hipster purgatory?
Why can I not block your visual onslaught?
For I am defenseless when you Dual-Wield Flaming Lesbians of Hotness +5, and you know this la Tazza Fresca!